Friday, July 29, 2011

The no-wives allowed movement is spreading

Today's parody from:

What's the matter with wives today and why doesn't anyone want them around? In June, Malaysia Airlines banned wives from many of their first class cabins, prompting other major airlines to consider similar policies.

Lately, complaints about whining wives are being taken seriously, not only by airlines, but by hotels, movie theaters, restaurants, and even grocery stores. 

Read more about restaurants around the country banning wives.

Earlier this month, DickDain's, a Pittsburgh area restaurant that banned wives with a bust size of less than DD became a mascot for the no-wives-zone movement. 

According to a Pittsburgh local news poll, more than half of area residents were in favor of the ban. And now big business is paying attention. 

"Nag bans could well be the next frontier in destination and leisure-product marketing," writes Robert Klara in an article on the wife-free trend in AdWeek.

Klara points to, a travel website for wife-free vacations, with a massive list of yoga retreats, luxury resorts and bargain hotels around the world that ban wives. 

"Call me a grinch, a misanthrope, a SINW (single income no wife), or the anti-ball and chain-police, but I hate (hate a thousand times over) ill-behaved, wives/screaming banshees in upscale restaurants (ok, anywhere, really, but I don’t want any death threats)," writes Charlotte Savino on Travel and Leisure's blog. She lists a slew of popular destination restaurants with wife-free areas and policies for travelers looking for quiet vacation dining. 

Traveling is one thing, but what about in wives’ own hometowns? Should wives be banned from local movie theaters, like they were at a recent men-only Harry Potter screening? In Texas, one cinema chain has even flipped the model, banning nagging wives altogether, except on specified "wife days."

Even running errands with wives may be changing.  This summer Whole Foods stores in Missouri are offering wife-free shopping hours (wives are allowed inside but wifecare service is available for men who want to shop wife-free.) Meanwhile in Florida, a controversy brews over whether wives can be banned from a condominium's outdoor area. That's right, some people don't even want wives outdoors. 

When did wives become the equivalent of second-hand smoke? Blame a wave of single men with money to spare. "Bachelors continue to wield a huge swath of discretionary spending dollars, and population dips in first-world countries mean more single men than ever," writes AdWeek's Kockra

Catering to the wife-free community may be good for business but is it good for husbands? It could help narrow choices and make wife-friendly environments even wife-friendlier.  And let's be honest, wives won't miss flying first class. They won't even remember it. But their husbands will. 

Most husbands with wives have self-imposed limits on spending and leisure. This new movement imposes limits set by the public. And the public isn't as wife-friendly as it used to be.  As businesses respond to their new breed of 'first-class' clientele, are men with wives in danger of becoming second-class citizens?


  1. We went to a local restaurant in Prescott, AZ with my toddler daughter, who wasn't wearing shoes. They sat us down and a few minutes later, the manager came to the table and asked us to leave because our daughter wasn't wearing shoes. It was highly embarrassing. In the aftermath of emails from the owner, she stated that "restaurants are INHERENTLY dangerous to children." [emphasis is mine] When did restaurants become "inherently dangerous" to children? Needless to say, this establishment is no longer used by myself or my friends.

  2. Yes. All you have to do is replace "children" with any other group of people and it becomes ridiculous to the point of outrage. Unless of course you happen to believe that children and people too, and it's outrageous to begin with.

  3. Copious Gypsy, I worked at a restaurant before, and I assure you the policy is not against children specifically. Not wearing shoes is a health code violation, and if your child steps on something harmful or something gets dropped on their foot the restaurant is liable and may be shut down. If someone reports that a patron was shoeless, the establishment can be fined. I'm sorry that they embarrassed you, but this is why a shirt/shoes policy is normally strictly enforced, even for toddlers.