© 2012 Submitted anonymously:
"When I was a child, my mom was more interested in me being her friend than she was in being my mother. She told me vivid details about her sex life and generally spoke inappropriately.
For example, after talking to me about my birth and breastfeeding me, she would continue with vivid details about her sexual experiences. She would even include details about my father- who, though they were divorced, I was very close to.
My most concentrated number of memories of this behavior was around age 12, when I fell headlong into puberty. I felt so violated by her confidences and behaviors that I started to feel sick when she would hug me or otherwise try to be affectionate. And to this day, I cannot stand the way she smells.
When my daughter was born, I developed severe PPD (Post Partum Depression). I was flooded with terrible memories and thoughts that made me feel ill every time I nursed my daughter. I attribute many of those feelings to how innapropriate my mother was with me. I would sit up at night and cry, wanting to give my daughter my milk, but being horrified by the contact I had with her during the nursing session.
I weaned her from the breast when she was two weeks old and began taking heavy duty depression meds, along with seeing a therapist. It took a long time for me to deal with my post traumatic stress, depression, repressed anger and disgust. All of these things were connected to what felt sexually abusive to me, but they involved a woman, my mother... not a man.
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