Saturday, September 8, 2012

One Rough Moment

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I love sharing when gentle parenting works for us. I love seeing it work and feeling that glow of connection with my kids. It makes me excited to get on Facebook and share that guess what? It happened! It worked! Things went swell for us!

I don't post enough about when it isn't working. Here is my almost 2 year old, after I gently but firmly told him, "We do not push over baby brothers." He was screaming, "NOOOOOOO!" Those big tears are very real tears, showing how upset he was about something very important to him, that I unfortunately could not understand or resolve. Sometimes, we just have to be there and acknowledge that life is hard, especially for a toddler.

Unconditional parenting might be the most respectful way to parent, but I don't want anyone to think it's the easiest way, or that things are always perfect. In fact, parents often refer to non-punitive parenting as "get your butt off the couch parenting" because it requires complete commitment and a lot of work from the parent. It's way easier to yell across the room, give threats or spank after the fact. It's easier to tell a child to go away from you, into another room for time out. It's easier to stuff the bad feelings, and to tell them that they need to paste a smile on their face and "stop crying now!" It makes us feel more comfortable. It keeps us from dealing with uncomfortable feelings and answering difficult questions.

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From a Child's View

1 comment:

  1. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH! i have been going through HELL with my 13 month old these past few days, and i am only getting like 2 hours of sleep at a time. i really needed to read this today. :-)