Thursday, October 4, 2012

Let's Get Real Here: Some Hippie Stuff Stinks

I wish people would be more acknowledging and honest about healthy things. Examples...

Yes, it's true that some people experience an orgasmic birth. I would even say my first birth was "pain free" other than a period when my round ligaments freaked out. By the time I got to my third birth, however, I was very calmly telling my sister to cancel her wedding and run for the hills. It's okay to point out that labor can hurt, sometimes a lot, and it's hard work! Don't set women up to think the pain is just another sign of failure or inferiority. The sensations (or let's be honest...the flat out jagged hot lines of aching pain) are FROM our bodies, from within ourselves and not bigger than we can handle.

My third birth, arguably one of the most painful experiences in my life,
and yet one of the most gratifying. Also, I laughed when I realized
my husband was wearing a shirt that said, "No PAIN, no GAIN." 

Or how about home made products? Homemade shampoo, laundry detergent, deodorant, etc...yes. Yes, it can be cheaper (sometimes, lol). And yes, it is healthier. Definitely more ethical. But, be realistic about it. Sometimes, it doesn't work. In fact, a lot of times, it sucks and smells like donkey balls. I've smelled some homemade laundry detergent that is nasty. I would never want that on my body, even if it's healthy. (And one word: borax). My husband has willingly tried a whole line of products, from store bought natural to organic to home made. Then he snuck out to buy some Head N Shoulders. He said at least he'll be flake free on the bus to hell.

Bus to hell, how many people get this???

 What about baby carriers? Yes, babywearing is fashionable. It's also super helpful, and I, like many other parents, tend to rave about how it's way more comfortable than carrying in arms, carrying a carseat or pushing a stroller. But, you know what? I've tried enough slings to know that some are painful. Some are inconvenient. Some are frustrating for the kids. Is it that hard to acknowledge someone when she says it hurts? "It's all in your mind." Um, no. Just try a few more carriers, Mama, and find one that works for you. A carrier should be convenient, feel comfortable and your child should enjoy the ride.

I'm 41 weeks and backpacking a toddler to go grocery shopping.
I couldn't have pasted a fake smile on if you paid me.
When you find the right carrier, you'll know.

Oh, yes! Let's not forget cloth diapers! They are one of the most addicting practices out there, with a fun assortment of styles to choose from (unless you choose them all ha). But again, let's get real here. I've used Huggies, Pampers, Luvs, Target brand...probably some others as samples..Guess what. They work pretty well. In some ways better than cloth. Why is it so hard to admit that?

Really, though, they are sooo addicting!
Match ALL the things!

And a quick rundown of many other things that I can't really ramble on about b/c then this post would be too long:

NFP (Natural Family Planning): Great! Healthy! Promotes bonding! Effective! Well, POAS a bajillion times, caring about your cervix every day, scratching things down on a little chart or filling out a's not exactly fun unless you're that type.

Riding a bike instead of driving a car: Do we need to say anything about this one?

Health food: Yes, a LOT of it is tasty. And a LOT of it is not. Especially if you've been raised on junk and your taste buds are chemically addicted. Sprouted bread will never taste like nasty processed white bread from Walmart. And those healthy donuts? Healthy granola bars? Pass. Why do you think people are willing to eat processed yogurt colored with the ground shells of bugs anyways?

Well, it's either this or that nasty plain stuff in my crockpot. Hmm.
Why is it so controversial to admit any of the above? What service are we doing for people when we regale them with the amazing cloth diapers that never leak and change themselves? The baby carriers that only cost an arm and leg but we guarantee your toddler will stay in them happily for 2 hours? Here's something funny to think avoid endocrine disruptors in our body products, we make gooey products at home and then scent them with...endocrine disruptors! Irony.

 This "Best Campaign" sometimes gets the best of us! Just because these things are the normal way, the healthy way, the evidence based way and the peaceful way does NOT mean they are always easy, smell good, feel good and work without a hitch. I think we've forgotten the old wisdom: the right things in life can be the hardest. No one ever said it was going to be easy. The greatest joys and the greatest feelings of accomplishment can only come with the greatest levels of commitment and awareness.

A short torso and big kids...nursing in a carrier is not "simple" nor is it
"easy" "convenient" and "the best thing ever." But I did give it a fair try
and I managed to take a photo of one moment of success. :)


  1. I love this!! It is 100% true!!
    I adore the cloth diaper part. I love love love my cloth & wouldn't change then for the world. But Sposies are so much easier. Open slip on/off throw ha <3

  2. NOW you are speaking my language! Love it- (I never thought I would read a post like this from you Guggie- you always struck me as the crunchiest of the crunch) and I mean that in the best way.

  3. Keep it real!
    I laughed at the Head'n'Shoulders thing. I've tried SO many natural and alternative solutions for my scaly psoriasis on my scalp, that is flakey and unsightly, and time and time again have to come back to a particular brand of shampoo that is about as "un" natural as it comes, but it works. I've recently had to start using our umbrella stroller more, because my son is now 40lb at 29mths (he's huge) and is too big for me to carry comfortably, it kills my back, and I've tried several carriers. My husband isn't keen to splurge on another one. I've had several rude comments from some of the pro babywearers at my LLL group, about using a stroller, but my little guy isn't ready to walk everywhere, and he actually quite likes his stroller so I'm ignoring the comments. I LOVE our cloth diapers, but can't wait for my son to be potty trained, so we can take a break from washing them, before we ttc a 3rd and are back into them.
    I love the choices we've made, for our family, but am happy to admit, that sometimes they aren't the easiest or most convenient. Being real, and not pretending that it's all fun is part of the deal, I think.

  4. perfect. spoken like a real person, not a genre of parenting.

  5. I love this! I just read something the other day about a man's impossible dandruff going away finally when he started oil pulling. He used coconut oil. :-)

  6. I have over $100 worth of cloth diapers in a big zipper plastic bag. They leaked all over, the wet stayed up next to my baby's skin on car rides and she ended up with big rashes. Sposies never caused any trouble for us. I wore my 3rd baby everywhere, but my 4th baby hated it. I tried no poo, and it was very poo for me. I waited the 4 weeks, etc. Gave it the good go of it despite the fact that my job depends on my looks. I felt gross, and looked like butter head no matter how much baking soda I used. I made my own deodorant. I ended up with the most CRUEL rash on my armpits. Come to find out that coconut oil makes a barrier with a space between it and doesn't allow your skin to breathe through it causing moisture rash. :( Yeah, and homemade laundry detergent + well water.. well I won't get into any more.. At least I am using Ecos.

  7. fantastic. i HATE using cloth diapers. i take a break at times and use disposables, just to keep my sanity. and you're so right, "the right things in life can be the hardest." i would put "right" in "" because we ought not to judge what other parents do, but the "natural" way is definitely not the easiest....or everyone would do it!