Monday, January 30, 2012

Pre-eclampsia and PIH Resources

Pre-eclampsia is a growing concern for pregnant mamas. Diagnosis includes monitoring blood pressure and the readings on urine sticks. In the allopathic world, no one really knows what causes pre-e or how to "cure" it. Treatment includes magnesium supplementation and induction as symptoms get worse.

Symptoms include:

High blood pressure (hypertension) — 140/90 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg) or greater — documented on two occasions, at least six hours but no more than seven days apart
Excess protein in your urine (proteinuria)
Severe headaches
Changes in vision, including temporary loss of vision, blurred vision or light sensitivity
Upper abdominal pain, usually under your ribs on the right side
Nausea or vomiting
Dizziness
Decreased urine output
Sudden weight gain, typically more than 2 pounds (0.9 kilogram) a week
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/preeclampsia/DS00583/DSECTION=symptoms

A lot of people ask for information on pre-e, so I'm finally making a list. Links open in a new window.


”Vitamin D deficiency early in pregnancy is associated with a five-fold increased risk of preeclampsia, according to a study from the University of Pittsburgh Schools of the Health Sciences reported in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism.”
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/81965.php

The study also found that newborns from the women with pre-e had low vit D levels:
http://jcem.endojournals.org/content/92/9/3517.abstract

”Women in the study who took 4,000 IU of the vitamin daily in their second and third trimesters showed no evidence of harm, but they had half the rate of pregnancy-related complications as women who took 400 IU of vitamin D every day, says neonatologist and study co-researcher Carol L. Wagner, MD, of the Medical University of South Carolina.”
http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20100504/high-doses-of-vitamin-d-may-cut-pregnancy-risk

”A dietary supplement containing an amino acid and antioxidant vitamins, given to pregnant women at high risk of pre-eclampsia, can reduce the occurrence of the disease, finds a study published on bmj.com.”
http://newhope360.com/news/study-suggests-amino-acidantioxidant-supplement-reduces-pre-eclampsia-risk

A somewhat limited, but enticing study:

”Chocolate may decrease the risk for preeclampsia, according to the results of a prospective cohort study reported in the May issue of Epidemiology”
http://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/573914

A special diet:
http://www.drbrewerpregnancydiet.com/

A quick summary on diet changes:
http://www.inspiredchildbirth.net/preeclampsia-in-pregnancy.html

More ideas:
http://www.unhinderedliving.com/toxemia.html

Even more ideas:
http://www.naturalchildbirth.org/natural/resources/prebirth/prebirth30.htm

Ronnie’s archives on Pregnancy Induced Hypertension and Toxemia:
http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/pih.html

Supplements to research that might help you:

Dandelion root
Nettles
Alfalfa
Red Raspberry Leaf tea
Magnesium (citrate or oxide)
High quality calcium
Red clover
Beets/beet juice
Globe Artichoke

Remember that none of this replaces medical advice or the customized, real-life assistance with an experienced care provider. At the same time, remember to research and arm yourself with information. For example, ensure that any diagnosis is made correctly with adequate testing. Often times, I hear from mamas who were diagnosed with pre-e, when only their blood pressure was monitored, and only recently or inconsistently. 



Saturday, January 28, 2012

India and Polio

People keep asking about the Polio Eradication topic. So here is another perspective...

A summary of the topic:
http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/opinion/article2837352.ece?homepage=true

"Public health experts also estimate that between 100 and 180 children in India develop vaccine-associated polio paralysis (VAPP) each year, a rare but serious side effect of the OPV (Oral-live Polio Vaccine) they had received to protect them from the wild poliovirus. As opposed to VDPV (Vaccine Derived Polio Virus) infection, VAPP affects the vaccinated children themselves."
http://www.telegraphindia.com/1120116/jsp/frontpage/story_15011108.jsp#.TxPFcuCd3yY.facebook

The WHO claims: "India’s last polio victim was an 18-month-old girl in West Bengal, reported on January 13, 2011."

BUT then there's a source that reports another case of Polio in June 2011: http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-02-12/india/28546000_1_polio-virus-opv-first-case

Here's what most people are hearing in the news:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57357965-10391704/polio-almost-eradicated-in-india-says-world-health-organization/

Duke makes a good point:
They fail to mention the number of children who died in that same year because of injuries from the OPV (oral polio vaccine). The India Times had many stories of the children, here is just one of them: ***"The state health department has recorded an alarming 13 deaths in the 0-5 age group in the first five months of 2011, the highest in the corresponding period in last three years. The deaths were reported within 24 hours of the children being vaccinated, mostly after an oral polio vaccine was administered...The latest case was reported on May 15 when an infant in Kadapa died a day after she was vaccinated for DPT, polio and Hepatitis B. In all, six children died in different parts of the state between February and May this year after they were given the DPT, OPV and Hepatitis B shots. However, OPV was a fixture in all the 13 deaths, which have occurred so far this year. The official reason for the deaths as per government records: adverse events following immunisation. ... Doctors said that whenever a vaccine is administered, health professionals should have oxygen and anti-anphylaxis drugs within reach for inducing immunologic tolerance to avert complications. "These precautions are hardly taken," says Dr Ranganath."
Bushra Bazeeerat, Times of India -- 2011- 6- 2

But what is Polio? How is Polio diagnosed? What might be happening?
http://gaia-health.com/gaia-blog/2011-11-02/indian-encephalitis-outbreak-polio-under-a-different-name-in-the-vaccinated/

History repeats itself. And why not? It worked for Americans:
http://guggiedaly.blogspot.com/2011/01/quick-post-about-polio-and-measles.html

On that note...why IS the scary complication of Polio hanging around in underdeveloped countries?

'But the fact that came as a big shock to the experts was that around 24 per cent of children who were reported to have polio till November 2011 were those who had been given the vaccine ***seven or more times.*** !!!!!!!!!

'The percentage of children who were not vaccinated and contracted polio was 32 per cent. This particular information deserved more research, said the chief of the Division of Women and Child Health at AKUH, Dr Zulfiqar Ali Bhutta.

According to him, malnutrition, a Vitamin A deficiency and diarrhoea in children, could be the reasons why the vaccines were ineffective. “It is twice as likely that the polio vaccine does not convert in malnourished children,” Bhutta said.'


http://tribune.com.pk/story/319424/a-drop-in-the-bucket-polio-campaigns-fail-because-of-malnutrition/

The Oral Polio Vaccine was pulled from the American schedule b/c
vaccinated individuals can spread it to others. Such as in cases when you have no clean
water.

Unveiling the Placenta

Placentas are pretty cool organs. What else can you grow to that size and then push out without consequences? Besides the baby, I mean? LOL

Job Description: Mommy and Earthside Birth Photography also think the placenta is pretty cool.

It's also treated somewhat as an afterthought and many people don't know what it looks like after the birth. Perhaps that's why the photo was initially reported by random users to Facebook, resulting in its removal. Apparently some people thought the image was showing a baby crowning. :-p

Or perhaps it's more targeted trolling, seeing as how the image has been removed from several connected areas. Here's my warning:


(For those wanting to give the benefit of the doubt,
it should be noted that this image does not violate any FB policies).

Do you have any beautiful images of the placenta? Feel free to add them here or on my page.

Placenta resources:

My fave link: http://www.aafp.org/afp/1998/0301/p1045.html

http://www.birthtoearth.com/FAQs.html

http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/eatplcnt.html

http://neoreviews.aappublications.org/content/11/2/e64.abstract

http://placentabenefits.info/

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

What Exactly DO You Know About Vaccines?

 This is an excellent article. I know it's a bit longer than most articles with 9 pages, but it is well written and provides a clear overview of the science. I highly recommend bookmarking this site to read it and refer to it:

http://icpa4kids.org/Wellness-Articles/challenging-the-theory-of-artificial-immunity.html

It also reminded me that in this issue, so few people seem to know:

1) what the immune system is and how it works
2) what vaccines are and how they work

Most people don't even know what is in vaccines or even what the vaccine names (MMR, PCV) mean. In fact, I've had people refuse to believe that vaccines contain replicated cell lines from aborted humans (in at least 10 vaccines in the US) or that mercury is still in some vaccines.

For example, most people who vaccinate have never bothered to even look at the CDC's reported disease list. I like to look at it once a week and encourage everyone to check up on it:

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/mmwr_wk.html

And then, whether the ultimate choice is to vaccinate or remain vaccine-free, most parents still express fear about dying from vaccine-related illnesses. But how many have checked out the actual death rates and not the media-hyped figures tossed around?

http://wonder.cdc.gov/

And how many people spend a little time reading through the reported adverse reactions for the particular vaccine they are considering? This search tool will break down the VAERS site, which is run by the FDA and CDC:

http://www.medalerts.org/.

I wonder how many vaccinating parents ever think to ask for the ACTUAL manufacturer inserts that come with each vaccine. They should be saved along with the insurance bill in your child's file in case your child experiences an adverse reaction. Fortunately, the manufacturers do not hide anything. You can read all of THEIR information. Just pick the vaccine you want and click:

http://www.vaccinesafety.edu/package_inserts.htm


Perhaps the most shocking thing is how many parents adamantly defend vaccines and choose to vaccinate their children, yet completely ignore the AAP's advice on rearfacing children in carseats. The AAP states:

"[Children] should remain rear-facing until they reach the highest weight or height allowed by their car safety seat’s manufacturer."

The NHTSA also claims more than 80% of carseats are installed incorrectly. In 2008, more than 250,000 children were severely injured (disabled) in car accidents, and 10% of those injured children went on to die.

The CDC also speaks strongly about carseats:

"Motor vehicle injuries are the leading cause of death among children in the U.S.1 But many of these deaths can be prevented. Placing children in age- and size-appropriate car seats and booster seats reduces serious and fatal injuries by more than half.2"

http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/factsheets/childpas.htm

So, thousands of children are injured and hundreds of children die from car accidents due to the parents incorrectly using carseats. But parents run out to vaccinate their children to the hilt for diseases that already had low morbidity rates before the vaccines were even introduced.

Buckle your child incorrectly into a carseat so you can drive her to the doctor's office for a vaccine.

Sounds stupid to me but what do I know...I'm just a crazy person out there who likes to quote the CDC, FDA, AAP et al.


Resources

A quick list divided by vaccine:
http://guggiedaly.blogspot.com/2012/07/vaccine-article-quick-list.html

The Stand Against Vaccinations FB page:
https://www.facebook.com/standagainstvax

Confessions of a Mama who Broke the Punitive Cycle

This honest mama kicks off our “parenting confessions” theme for the month. If you want to share your experience of learning about parenting methods or switching from one method to another, please email your submission.

© 2012 Yardana

”I'm not exactly sure who recommended that I add you, but someone thought we'd be a good match based on our strong feelings against vaccination. Before I added you, I had a look at your page and the list of topics you discussed. I agreed with so many of your opinions, however, one thing stood out to me. You were against time-outs and punishment.

What does that even mean, I thought to myself. I had never even in my life heard of a child not getting time-outs, that's how normal they were to me. Why would anybody be against such a normal way-THE way-of correcting behaviour? I began to research online. I began to search my heart honestly.

Tears flowed down my face as I remembered being a child, sitting in my room, crying my eyes out. I remembered stomping my feet until they bruised. To this day, my heels ache and I cannot lie flat on my back or sit with my feet in front of me because they are so tender. I remember throwing things against the wall, denting the wall and breaking my things. As a teenager, I even sat in my room and smoked cigarettes, sometimes even used a razor on my skin.

I had nobody there to listen or love. I was "rude", I was "inconsiderate", and sometimes I was even a "bitch." I remember a distinct feeling, a deep knowing, that I was only loved if I behaved. I acted out so horrifically; my mother allowed me to do anything I wanted as long as I did all my housework and didn't talk back. Of course, I gave her flack, because I was upset at all the things I had to learn the hard way. So of course I was punished. My mother called herself a gentle, peaceful parent...and even so, she made me promise that I would be a better mother to my child, when the time came, than she was to me.

I remembered how I felt. I thought for a second about my child. Did I want my child feeling the way I did? I never want him to feel that he is unloved or unaccepted based on what mood he is in or how he is acting. And so I have learned better ways.

My husband and I took a vow never to give a spanking, never to give a time out, no grounding, no name-calling or shaming (such as using the word naughty.) I know now that so much of the pain in my life, both physically and mentally, is from time-outs and other similar punishment.

I learned that some of the most peaceful people in my life had never been punished or given a time-out. I learned the true meaning of having a peaceful home, and being a better parent and a better person. I cannot tell you how much it means to me that I happened to stumble across those few words on your profile, for if I hadn't, I might have never known. I tear up thinking of the person I might be today.

So, thank you. Thank you on behalf of my entire family. Because of one simple idea that you planted, one more child in this world is living in peace. We have stayed committed to our vow and our child has not been punished.

Love and light.
Yardana”

Physical punishment is not the only thing that hurts.

For a list of helpful articles, websites and pages on Parenting methods:
http://guggiedaly.blogspot.com/2011/10/spanking-resources.html

Another Old Save...Vaccines, Mercury, the Usual

(Just saving some old conversations)

No, that's fine, Bridgette. :) I like receiving good reviews. It helps tease out more information for those who are new to this subject.

For example, I love to hear you mention the year 2001 b/c most people don't read far enough to learn that although it was enacted in 1997, the deadline for removal of Thimerosal as an adjuvant was 2001. And of course, it is still used worldwide, especially in the DPT in India/Africa.

Most people also don't realize that some vaccines on the schedule still contain Thimerosal. Here’s the CDC ingredient list so parents can see which ones contain Thimerosal:

http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/appendices/B/excipient-table-2.pdf

The FDA left a loophole. It can be used during the manufacturing process. The companies are not required to disclose the exact amount in the finished product, nor do they test for that. Most of the package inserts say, ">.3mcg." Which I suppose sounds good to many people, as .3mcg is a tiny amount. I guess my question to them would be: is a tiny amount proven to be undamaging to the brain? This guy clearly is anti-vaccine, but he uploaded a video that makes it simple to understand:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85tgwh3HpsM&feature=related

My second question is: exactly how much is a child receiving? Yes, .3mcg just so happens to be right under the daily limit exposure of .5mcg established by the EPA for mercury exposure. But that exposure level is based on ingestion of methyl mercury, not intramuscular injection of ethyl mercury. And if the child receives more than one vaccine containing that "trace amount" of Thimerosal, then it exceeds the already poorly established exposure levels. Or if the untested vaccine lots have inconsistent amounts, a common issue in ANY type of manufactured product, the child is receiving unknown amounts of Thimerosal in excess of the EPA levels.

But then we also have to look at something that has never been looked at in this debate. I know, isn’t it unethical that the safety of administering more than one vaccine, or more than one vaccine ingredient at the same time has never been proven safe? Just take a look at this cliché topic of Autism…they have only studied one ingredient out of a whole list of ingredients. Children are vaccinated with more than one vaccine containing more than one ingredient, right?

So, what if, say, Aluminum and Ethyl mercury had a synergistic effect? We already know aluminum is a neurotoxic substance. (Random aside: would you review these articles and break them down for me? I love your devil’s advocate position).


Yokel RA et al. The distribution of aluminum into and out of the brain. J Inorg Biochem 1999; 76: 127-132.

Campbell A et al. Chronic exposure to aluminum in drinking water increases inflammatory parameters selectively in the brain. J Neuroscience Res 2004; 75: 565-572.

Bishop NJ et al. Aluminum neurotoxicity in preterm infants receiving intravenous feeding solutions. N Engl J Med 1997; 336: 1557-1561.

Campbell A. Inflammation, neurodegenerative disease, and environmental exposures. Ann NY Acad Sci 2004; 1035: 117-132.

Shirabe T et al. Autopsy case of aluminum encephalopathy. Neuropathology 2002; 22: 206-210.

Armstrong RA et al. Hypothesis: Is Alzheimer’s disease a metal-induced immune disorder. Neurodegeneration 1995; 4: 107-111.

Flarend RE et al. In vivo absorption of aluminum-containing vaccine adjuvants using 26Al. Vaccine 1997; 15: 1314-1318.

Platt B et al. Aluminum toxicity in the rat brain: histochemical and immunocytochemical evidence. Brain Res Bull 2001; 55: 257-267.


Although the impact of ingesting it is minimized b/c the gut can process/excrete it, this is not true for intramuscular injection. Once it is injected, the aluminum then binds with albumin, giving it access to various important parts of the body such as, following our discussion, the brain. What is the impact of exposing the human to ethyl mercury and aluminum at the same time? Why is a product approved for use in America on millions of infants without first having a simple study run on the combination of these ingredients?

Here’s some commentary:

http://toitumisteraapia.ee/boydhaley2005.pdf

“in the presence of 50 nM thimerosal plus 500 nM aluminum hydroxide (open triangles [Δ]), the neuronal death increases to roughly 60%, an amazing increase and clearly demonstrates the synergistic effects of other metals on mercury toxicity and certainly thimerosal toxicity.”


We also have to think about how long these substances are in the body. Aluminum has frequently been dismissed as having a short half-life. Is that true for injection?

http://www.atsdr.cdc.gov/toxprofiles/tp22.pdf

357 pages. Page 132:

”Human and animal studies have investigated the aluminum retention in the body. Within the first day of receiving a single injection of 26Al citrate, approximately 59% of the dose was excreted in the urine of six subjects; 72 and 1.2% was excreted in the urine and feces, respectively, during the first 5 days (Talbot et al. 1995). At the end of 5 days, it was estimated that 27% of the dose was retained in the body (Priest et al. 1995; Talbot et al. 1995). When 26 Al levels were monitored more than 3 years after a single subject received the injection, a half-life of approximately 7 years was calculated (Priest et al. 1995). However, when the subject was re-examined approximately 10 years after the injection, a half-life of about 50 years was estimated (Priest 2004).”


We know that the CDC recognizes the way chemicals can create a synergistic effect:


http://www.cdc.gov/niosh/docs/2005-106/#exec


The possible combinations of exposure are huge and knowledge is limited about the effects of mixed exposures. Individual susceptibility adds to the complexity of exposure and resulting outcomes.


So I find it interesting that within the debate of vaccine injury and autistic symptoms, the CDC has little to say on the topic, don’t you? It seems most people already understand that Autism has some form of genetic predisposition (as does everything). Most people also understand that environmental triggers are required as well. So what implication does this basic concept of human illness have for vaccines? Vaccines are a one-size-fits-all product. The same vaccine, in the same amount, with the same ingredients, is given to every single infant at the same time. The vaccines have not been proven safe or effective when given concomitantly, nor have the individual ingredients within all of the vaccines.

This is especially troublesome when we consider the fairly recent discovery of MFTHR-5 Polymorphism. It seems roughly 50% of the population has a genetic difference making methylation inefficient, especially with the addition of synthetic vitamins.

(Here is a link for a quick grasp of the subject: http://lifebalanceinfertilitycoach.wordpress.com/2008/10/07/the-mthfr-tutorial-genetic-mutation-and-cause-of-miscarriage/)

Why is this important to know? Because glutathione production is tied into the methylation cycle. Glutathione, often called the “master antioxidant” is produced by the body and works to break down and excrete toxins from the body.

What happens when someone with an inefficient methylation cycle and inadequate stores of glutathione is exposed to multiple vaccinations at a young age? Does the aluminum accumulate in the body? Does the ethyl mercury accumulate in the body? Where does the body store it? The bones? Brain? Gut? What symptoms appear from the metal toxicity? Are these symptoms correctly diagnosed as metal toxicity, or are they called Autism? Does Autism exist separate from metal toxicity? Are we letting children fall through the cracks because we defend the vaccination program beyond scientific scrutiny?

What happens when the child is then exposed to acetaminophen? We know that acetominophen can drain glutathione supplies. That’s why if you overdose, the ER doctor gives you NAC.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2002/10/021014072451.htm

"An overdose of acetaminophen can cause depletion of glutathione and land a person in the hospital. "Acetaminophen toxicity is the number one cause of hospital admission for liver failure in the United States," he said. "

http://www.benbest.com/nutrceut/NAC.html

"Glutathione detoxifies acetaminophen, but once glutathione is depleted there can be significant cell death in the liver [THE AMERICAN JOURNAL OF MEDICINE; Flanagan,RJ; 91(Suppl C):131S-139S (1991)]. AIDS victims can suffer severe liver and kidney damage by using acetaminophen or alcohol, which severely deplete glutatione [PROCEEDINGS OF THE NATIONAL ACADEMY OF SCIENCES (USA); Herzenberg,LA; 94(5):1967-1972 (1997)]. "

Even the mainstream is starting to recognize a compounding problem here:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33331643/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/

“Giving babies Tylenol to prevent fever when they get childhood vaccinations may backfire and make the shots a little less effective, surprising new research suggests. It is the first major study to tie reduced immunity to the use of fever-lowering medicines. Although the effect was small and the vast majority of kids still got enough protection from vaccines, the results make "a compelling case" against routinely giving Tylenol right after vaccination, say doctors from the CDC.”

As with any disease or injury then, it’s much more than “Vaccinate with Thimerosal and get Autism.” That’s faulty thinking. This is about personal predisposition, health status at the time of exposure, ability to detox/heal, compounding factors or additional exposure to other toxins, etc. Why did one kid develop autistic symptoms after vaccination and the other didn’t?

Was one kid induced a week early?

http://www.impactlab.net/2010/06/10/babies-born-one-week-early-are-at-higher-risk-for-serious-health-problems/

“Babies born only a week early are at higher risk of a host of serious health problems from autism to deafness, research has shown. A study of hundreds of thousands of British schoolchildren found that those born at 39 weeks are more likely to need extra help in the classroom than those delivered after a full 40 weeks in the womb.”

Was one kid sick at the time? Did one kid react to the vaccines with a fever? Did the parent give acetaminophen to that kid? For several days in a row? Was it infant acetaminophen, which is concentrated b/c they assume the infant will spit some out? Was one vaccine part of a “hot lot” as they call it, and one kid received more aluminum or ethyl mercury than the other?

And why can’t these questions be applied to the rest of our environment? Why would it surprise anyone if autistic symptoms develop when a child is exposed to aluminum in formula?

http://www.inhabitots.com/2010/09/03/baby-formula-contaminated-with-aluminum-40-times-more-than-breast-milk/

“Researchers looked at 15 brands of infant formula sold in the UK including powdered, liquid, cow’s milk-based and soy-based products. Typically, powdered formulas contained more aluminum than liquid formulas. The results showed that infants using the formula would ingest up to 600 mcg of aluminum per day, an amount several times higher than what’s typically allowed in drinking water!”

Or water about lead in our toys, our clothes, our soil, our homes? What about the mercury in our food, batteries and air? What about the combination of all of this? What if one kid lives in a state with very high toxin levels in the soil and air, AND gets vaccinated? Compared to a kid in a lower level state who only gets one or two vaccines?

For example, take a look at this chart:

http://www.thedetroitbureau.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/2002natacancerriskmonocolor.jpg

Interesting, isn’t it, to see California all colored in blue? Maybe that’s why recent research showed that better diagnosis and earlier diagnosis do not account for the 700% increase in Autism in that state:

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/01/090108095429.htm

“A study by researchers at the UC Davis M.I.N.D. Institute has found that the seven- to eight-fold increase in the number children born in California with autism since 1990 cannot be explained by either changes in how the condition is diagnosed or counted — and the trend shows no sign of abating.”

Well, anyways, I love pouring through this stuff and could do it for hours, but both of my babies just woke up. So I will just toss this up and have to be on my way. Thanks for the great discourse!

Flumist Study (Old Note)

This is worth a read...it is not very long but definitely very interesting!


So you know that the H1N1 live-attenuated viral spray is based on the Flumist seasonal flu spray, right? Here is the manufacturer insert:

http://www.fda.gov/downloads/BiologicsBloodVaccines/Vaccines/ApprovedProducts/UCM182406.pdf

The nasal spray is available to children 2 and older who do not have contraindications and 5 years and older if they have asthma or 'a prior history of wheezing.' They found people who had asthma or wheezing were hospitalized more frequently after the nasal spray.

Anyways, how many people have tracked back to the Flumist and read about it, since the H1N1 vaccine is based on it?

Here is the Flumist package insert. It gets interesting at around 14.5.

http://www.medimmune.com/pdf/products/flumist_pi.pdf

Quote:
- - - - - INDICATIONS AND USAGE - - - - -
//FluMist is a vaccine indicated for the active immunization of individuals 2-49 years of age against influenza disease caused by influenza virus subtypes A and type B contained in the vaccine.\\
That is the first thing stated on the insert. (So if you're under 2, you're not supposed to receive flumist)

I read 14.5 ("transmission study") and apparently they thought it was more important to study mostly those under age 2, for whatever reason. (8-36 months)

Quote:
//Using the frozen formulation, a prospective, randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled trial was performed in a daycare setting in children < 3 years of age to assess the transmission of vaccine viruses from a vaccinated individual to a non-vaccinated individual. A total of 197 children 8-36 months of age were randomized to receive one dose of FluMist (n=98) or placebo (n=99). Virus shedding was evaluated for 21 days by culture of nasal swab specimens. \\

So in real life, people age 2 through 49 are receiving flumist, yet, the "transmission study" studied only babies 8 months through 36 months old.

Nobody is complaining about this? Nobody finds this fraudulent? Nobody cares about this?

To me, it would appear they know exactly what they are doing and the reason they chose that age group to study (and print the results of) is because they didn't like the results of the study in the older age group and didn't want to publish those results. What other reason in the world would they even waste time and money studying a group for which in real life isn't even going to be receiving this vaccine?!?

BTW, if you don't want to read the actual manufacturer insert, here is a brief notation from it:

//Do not administer Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine Live, Intranasal or FluMist to children

5.2 Asthma/Recurrent Wheezing
Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine Live, Intranasal or FluMist should not be administered to any individuals with asthma or children < 5 years of age with recurrent wheezing because of the potential for increased risk of wheezing post vaccination unless the potential benefit outweighs the potential risk.

Do not administer Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine Live, Intranasal or FluMist to individuals with severe asthma or active wheezing because these individuals have not been studied in clinical trials.

5.3 Guillain-Barré Syndrome
If Guillain-Barré syndrome has occurred within 6 weeks of any prior influenza vaccination, the decision to give Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 Monovalent Vaccine Live, Intranasal or FluMist should be based on careful consideration of the potential benefits and potential risks [see also Adverse Reactions (6.2)].\\

Oh, and here are some quotes from the Flumist insert:

//Pharmacokinetics
Biodistribution
A biodistribution study of intranasally administered radiolabeled placebo was conducted in 7 healthy adult
volunteers. The mean percentage of the delivered doses detected were as follows: nasal cavity 89.7%,
stomach 2.6%, brain 2.4%, and lung 0.4%. The clinical significance of these findings is unknown.

13 NONCLINICAL TOXICOLOGY
13.1 Carcinogenesis, Mutagenesis, Impairment of Fertility
FluMist has not been evaluated for its carcinogenic or mutagenic potential or its potential to impair
fertility.

In the primary efficacy analysis, FluMist demonstrated a 44.5% (95% CI: 22.4, 60.6) reduction
in influenza rate compared to active control as measured by culture-confirmed modified CDC-ILI
caused by wild-type strains antigenically similar to those contained in the vaccine. See Table 3 for a
description of the results by strain and antigenic similarity.\\


Look, mommy! A unicorn! Pooping!

Birth as a Bowel Movement

~Author Unknown

Imagine if you will, that about a hundred years ago, people began having great difficulties having bowel movements (BM for short). It al came about because of some very unhealthy lifestyles. People weren’t eating correctly because they were desperately trying to be thin and beautiful. They had malnutrition and took a lot of pills and other drugs to help them become and stay thin. People were so concerned with looking good that they put their health aside to get there.

As a result of this lifestyle, many people had a terrible time having BMs. Some people even died. Something had to be done to save these folks. So instead of changing their lifestyles, people flocked to the doctors to have their problem fixed. The problem became so prevalent that people became fearful of having BMs. Everyone dreaded going to the bathroom because of all the horror stories of pain and death. This normal, natural bodily function was labeled dangerous and hazardous and needed to be monitored and controlled to save lives.

Over time, it became the “norm” to go the hospital whenever someone had to have a BM so that doctors could monitor the process and intervene if they needed to. This continued through the years and is still practiced today. An onslaught of new life-saving technology and machinery was invented for us in aiding people to have a BM. It has become such a common practice to go to the hospital to have a BM that people have become uninformed. They don’t trust their own bodies to have a BM on their own. People are scared to have a BM that having one anywhere besides a hospital is considered irresponsible, dangerous and risky. Even though the old, unhealthy lifestyles, which caused the problem in the first place are no longer practiced, having BMs is no longer considered a normal event. Even the healthiest of people go to the hospital to have BMs out of fear that something might happen. The go “just in case”.

So, you have to have a BM and even though you are a healthy man and having a BM is a normal, natural physiological function that your body was designed to do, we go to the hospital. We grab the hospital bag and head out the door in a hurry. During the car ride you get very tense because the cramps are coming on strong and you can’t get comfortable. You try breathing through them but this only helps a little with all the stop and go traffic and bumps in the road. Not to mention that you just wish you could be at home and have privacy. Upon arrival at the hospital, you are wheeled up to a room and instructed to put on a gown with nothing else on (it has a large opening in the back which will show you rear end if you get up and walk anywhere). You are told to lie down so that a nurse can examine you. Then a strange female nurse comes in and explains that she is going to have to insert 2 fingers into your rectum to check the progress of your feces. You obviously feel humiliated because someone you don’t know has just touched a very private and personal part of you.

Then the nurse straps a monitor to your belly to measure the severity of your cramps and stick an iv in your arm. This is very distracting and makes the pain of the cramps even worse. Soon, your cramps become stronger and you are getting very uncomfortable. At this point, the nurses change shifts and new nurse comes in. She says she needs to check you again since it’s been awhile and you don’t seem to be making any progress. She inserts 2 fingers again and shakes her head from side-to-side and gives you a very disapproving look. You have not made any progress. You want to try so badly to relax so you can make progress but with the iv, the strangers, the fingers in your rectum and the negative attitudes of the staff, there are just too many distractions and you can’t. By now your cramps are very painful and it takes all you’ve got to just stay on top of them.

The hospital team decides to insert a wire up your anus to determine if, indeed, your cramps are as bad as you say they are. They again insert 2 fingers to check the dilation and fecal decent. They tell you that if you don’t make any progress in the next 30 minutes, they may have to cut the feces out. This causes you to be even more tense and you have a hard time trying to relax just knowing what may happen if you can’t push it out yourself. After another hour of laying in bed, the female doctor comes in and does yet another exam with 2 fingers because she says she wants to be sure the nurses were doing it right. She feels it is time for you to begin to push. So you are in bed, flat on your back with your feet up in stirrups trying to have a BM and pushing with all your might while the strange nurse and a doctor intently watch your anus. The feces is not coming down fast enough so the doctor decides that your anus must not be big enough for the feces to pass through so they make a large cut in your anus to make it bigger. They also need to use a vacuum extractor to help pull the feces out.

You finally manage (with the help of a large cut and vacuum) to push the feces out. You are in a lot of pain, you’re bleeding, exhausted, spent and humiliated. You feel like something in your body is broken and didn’t work correctly. This must be true since you needed all this help for a normally natural bodily function right? The nurse then pushes on your abdomen to make sure all of the feces has been expelled. This is VERY painful but thank God you were in a hospital or else something bad might have happened. Someone stitches you up and are given instructions on how to aid your healing.

So, you made it through. You’re alive and that’s what really matters right? Is it though? What about your pain? What about the humiliation? What about the violation of privacy? What about the anger you feel towards the whole damn thing because your experience could have been completely normal and uncomplicated at home?

Now, this scenario is absolutely and utterly ridiculous right? It seems absurd to go to the hospital for something that could have easily, and much less painfully, been done at home. The same is true of birth. This scenario is exactly what happened to birth (the “unhealthy” habits were obviously a bit different) and many women are suffering, needlessly, as a result. I can attest to the fact that this scenario is VERY common in hospitals today—I have even experienced it with my own hospital birth.

People have been raised to fear birth and to think that it needs the medical community to make it happen. Birth interventions have become so common that people accept them, and every side effect that comes with them, as necessary for a good outcome. And most don’t believe it when someone tells them that it can be so much better if those things weren’t done routinely.

A healthy, informed woman who is knowledgeable in birth had just as slim a chance of dying in birth as someone does while having a BM. All you need to have a safe birth is to be informed and to listen to your instincts (something that is very difficult to do with people watching you—just like it is difficult to have a BM with people watching you!). Birth is safe and simple. Just like having a BM is safe and simple. I need as much assistance while birthing our children as you do while having a bowel movement!

See a video of this analogy here!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5J3o6AvSq4


Circumcision from a Different Angle

When a lie, especially the sordid, asinine kind, is repeated over and over and over again by the majority of the members within a society, it becomes difficult to hear what’s wrong with it. The words become normative, even if they don’t become any less remarkably stupid.

Thank you, Michelle Richardson, for bringing this link up in the circumcision discussion.

http://www.thebabycorner.com/boards/2009-babies-521/ok-serious-question-395643

A good way to get your hearing recalibrated is to replace the repeated terms with something else and alter the analogy. The mind will hear new words, allowing your brain to function on a clear level. When this is done, some people will have a return to sanity and recognize logical fallacies within the argument. This is actually a basic learning exercise in law schools. There’s some fancy latin name to it that I should know...I bet my old professor is spinning in his grave right now hahaha.

So here is a bit of a twist on the comments within the link I posted above:

Lauralkemp:
“Ok I know we have about half a dozen boys or so in this group and I was on another forum talking about fingernail removal. Joseph has all his fingernails removed. I believe it is cleaner and DH says that he is happy and has never had a problem with loss of tactile sensation anything like that. Plus DH is so in charge of writing so no awkward questions about looking different then daddy.

So I was wondering how many of the other boys here had their fingernails removed at birth? If you decided for it was it just a religious or hygiene thing or was there another reason? If you decided against it will you support your son if he decides he wants it later because he's a minority in English class or whatever? I know that this is becoming less of a rarity but still.

Those who have girls this year but have boys and those that are planning to have more babies please chime in on your feelings too.”

Rudolphia:
“I have two boys and removed the eyelids on both. I honestly was ambivalent about it. I'd read opinions on both sides, and wasn't swayed either way, so I left it up to dh, since he was the one with experience in that area. Dh had his eyelids removed and wanted the boys the same too, so that's the direction we went. I know plenty of people who have passed on eyelid removal, and I respect that.

Dopey406:
“We're pretty much in the same boat as Rudi. I was also pretty ambivilent and had no opinions either way. DH had a Cholecystectomy and thought that Alex should have one, too, so we went with that.

I talked to my OB about it and she said that SHE would be the one doing the procedure because it's considered "surgery" so only a surgeon could do it. They don't let just anybody perform Cholecystectomies at that hospital so I felt very comfortable with her handling him.

But I also know plenty of moms who opted to pass on the gallbladder removal and that's fine, too. To each his own--literally.”

Lynn012:
“Both of my boys are missing ears. I took off their ears for both of them because I felt that it is cleaner, and I never had any other thoughts of keeping ears on my children.”

Keepers:
“We decided both girls would be circ'd too. The wife is too. We actually never even questioned having it done. Our peds did both girls.”

Brandimichelle:
Guggie: (all I have to say is it’s supposed to be the 8th day!)

Qteach333:
“My girls are circ'ed which caused a mini-stir in my family because the women in my family are not.

I remember as a kid my half sisters having trouble keeping it clean, getting sand in there when they went to the beach, etc, but ultimately left it up to my wife who wanted it to be done. I also talked to my sister about it, and she said if she had a daughter, she was going to get her circ'ed. That sealed the deal for me, since my sister isn't circ'ed.”

MrsS1stbaby:
“I don't have a son, but if we ever do we will get his lips removed. No religious or any other reasons other than that is what we are used to.

And If I am completely honest, I had an ex-boyfriend that wasn't, and it was a little umm, different. I was scared the first time, lol! So, to save any sons from having embarassing moments, I think we will go ahead and do it!”

LMB2007:
“Both of my boys had their eyelids removed. I did it for cleanliness and because I just felt it was the right thing for them. DH is missing his eyelids and we both felt that the boys should be too.”

Valleygirl:
“My daughter is circumsized. The usual wife is it seems cleaner looks like everyone else reasons. But a huge deciding factor for us was that right before we had Michaela Dh's grandma who was like 89 at the time and hadn't been circumsized had the skin growing closed over her vagina, she could hardly urinate and was in a lot of pain. So at 89 years old she had to have a partial circumcision and she had to envolve her daughter in the matter which I am sure was very humiliating for her.”

Susan Weed's Miscarriage Brew

From Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year by Susun Weed:

Threatened Miscarriage Brew
1 Tbsp. dried Black Haw root bark -OR- cramp bark
3 Tbsp. dried Raspberry leaves
10 drops Wild Yam root tincture
10 drops False Unicorn root tincture
60 drops Lobelia herb tincture

Put the dried herbs in a quart jar or four cup teapot and fill vessel to the top with boiling water. Steep until cool enough to drink. Add Wild Yam and False Unicorn tinctures to one cupful of tea and drink. If contractions continue for more than 30 minutes, add 60 drops of Lobelia tincture to a second cup of tea. Drink a cup of tea every three hours, adding tinctures as needed, until miscarriage no longer threatens.

Black Haw (and Cramp bark) sedates the uterus and can stop contractions and pain; its astringent, antispasmodic and tonic actions are best extracted in water, but you may substitute a teaspoon of the tincture in each cup of brew. Raspberry leaves are also best used in a water base, providing calcium to ease the uterine muscles and astringency to slow bleeding.

Wild Yam root contains hormonal precursors which assist the body in creating the hormones needed to hold a pregnancy; it is also an antispasmodic. False Unicorn is the herbalist's standard for dealing with threatened miscarriage; it is reported to have been successful even when hemorrhage and regular contractions have begun.

Lobelia tincture can cause profound relaxation of the uterus and the whole body if the dose is large enough. If the 60 drops recommended here does not have a relaxing effect, increase the dose; the action of Lobelia varies widely according to the preparation used and the individual using it. Burning in the throat and a mild, but exceedingly brief, nausea accompany use of Lobelia.

Increase the effectiveness of this brew by resting in bed and taking 500 IU of vitamin E every six hours.


*The information above is not given as medical advice and does not replace a doctor's medical advice or prescription*

Susan Weed's website:
http://www.susunweed.com/

Susan Weed's forum:
http://www.healingwiseforum.com/



Injury, Risks and Long-term Damage

You won't find a neat and tidy file complete with statistics on this topic. First, the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) is the authority that keeps track of this information, and that organisation generally divides children into two groups:

FULLY vaccinated ON schedule

Or not. 

Yes, that means they often group partially vaccinated, delayed vaccinated or selectively vaccinated children in with people who do not vaccinate. They also include the people who do not vaccinate incidentally, meaning they are neglectful parents who might also be starving and abusing their children.

Granted, sometimes the CDC does divide them into three groups, especially when examining outbreaks. Here is an example:

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00053713.htm#top

“(13%) of the 122 non-neonatal patients with supplemental data were reported to have received at least a primary series (i.e., three or more doses) of TT before onset of illness (Table_1), including two (40%) of the five non-neonatal patients aged less than 20 years. Three (60%) of the non-neonatal patients aged less than 20 years were unvaccinated because of their parents' religious objections. The fourth case occurred in a boy aged 14 years who was bitten by a dog and who had received his last dose 2 years previously. “

The CDC is telling us right here that of the kids who were diagnosed with Tetanus, two of them were VACCINATED and three were vaccine free. ZERO died. Interestingly, supplemental data does not include any information about wound care (aka, were the parents neglectful? Did the parents take the children in to the hospital?)

Every vaccination causes immediate and long term harm. The immune system and DNA is forever altered.

What you want to know is the likelihood of a vaccine causing immediate or long term complications. This is also called an adverse reaction. What is the "lottery" for your particular child? Almost impossible to compute. Genetic differences, environmental exposure, gut health and toxin burden all play a part in determining how well the child is able to withstand the vaccination.

You can try to tease out those risks. I put together a bunch of "pro-vaccine" links on these two posts:

http://guggiedaly.blogspot.com/2010/05/way-to-ease-into-vaccine-topic.html

http://guggiedaly.blogspot.com/2010/11/what-every-parents-needs-to-read-on.html

So what are the differences? For my mama friends out there who are informed on circumcision, this surgery provides a good analogy. You know how you have a broad range of issues with circumcision?

At the point of circumcision, you have the actual trauma of the surgery (the wound that heals), then you have the later loss, which could cause additional trouble down the road such as decreased sensitivity, sexual dysfunction, keratinization, etc.

But, you also have two others parallel to that. You have at the time of surgery a risk of complications, such as hemorrhage or death. And later on, you have complications such as chordee or erectile dysfunction.

Does this make sense? There are four types of injury: two at the moment of trauma and two that occur afterwards at any point during the person's life. Two are inherent (e.g. losing nerves and veins) and two are risks (e.g. only some babies bleed to death).

Now think about that in the context of vaccination.

At the point of vaccination, you have the actual trauma of the injection, which could be a swollen arm, a warm sensation, a ball at the point of injection, etc. Then you have later loss related to the way the vaccine alters the immune system. This is largely unresearched but involves temporal immunity failing, being at risk of getting the disease as an adult, not developing adequate immune regulation (e.g. measles as a child seems to prevent skin cancer in older people).

Then, you also have the two risks. So at the point of injection, some children have severe and immediate complications such as seizing, loss of consciousness, hemorrhage/inflammation in the brain, ataxia, etc. And later on down the road there could be other risks, such as autoimmune disorders, "autistic" symptoms, brain damage, chronic infection of the disease, etc.

So it's a pretty wide spectrum for people. But in general when a person says they were vaccine injured (or circumcision injured) they are referring to the risks and not the inherent damages.

And then as you get into more informed or more on-topic discussions, such as groups of intactivists or mothers against vaccines, they begin to talk about the subtle losses involved with these body alterations.

Here's my personal example:

I experienced a vaccine complication at the point of injection. I seized, had a high fever and an anaphylactic reaction. I then had a later vaccine complication after the original complication ended. When the seizing stopped, over several months, *I* drifted away (regressed, or what would nowadays be called autism). So I experienced the inherent trauma of vaccination that everyone experiences, then I experienced an immediate and a long term complication.

So when we are discussing these topics, it's important to consider what you want to research for your child. Are you interested in learning about the immediate risks to your child? The long term risks? The inherent damage?

Ian, who later died, experienced an immediate complication.
 

Quick List for Intact Care (Uncircumcised Boys)

I just wanted to save this information about intact care. I’m the oldest of 5 brothers, all of whom are intact. I  learned about caring for babies while growing up, such as when helping with diaper changes and bath time. Information was passed down to me, but that information has been overall lost in our cutting culture. Here is a list of links on caring for your intact child. If you have more, please comment or email me. Links open in a new window.

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1071893/care-info-for-intact-boy-or-girl
http://www.circumstitions.com/AAP-care.html
http://www.cirp.org/pages/parents/peron1/
http://www.justmommies.com/boards/index.php?showforum=257
http://www.nocirc.org/publish/4pam.pdf
http://www.cirp.org/library/normal/
http://www.kidshealth.org.nz/index.php/ps_pagename/contentpage/pi_id/266
http://www.cirp.org/pages/parents/care/
http://www.mja.com.au/public/issues/178_04_170203/dew10610_fm.html


Rearfacing to age 2?

"Is it a law now that I have to rearface my child until age 2?"

It is not yet a law. Laws are slow to change, although I have heard rumors that they will begin to change to reflect the updated science sometime in 2012.

This recommendation to continue to rearface past 1 year AND 20lbs is coming from the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics...doctors) and is backed by the CDC and NHTSA. It's based on science and studies showing that the longer toddlers remain rearfacing, the safer they are in all collision types, especially the most common frontal impact and side impact collisions.Here are my blog posts on the issue: 

A certified carseat safety professional talks about this issue:


My mom didn't follow this new policy and we are all FINE:


When should you turn your child forward?


A list of the widely available carseats:


A certified carseat tech shares her car crash story:






High Risk Love-Making!

HUSBAND and WIFE passionately take off each other's clothes. WIFE reacts with alarm to HUSBAND's potbelly.

WIFE: How many French fries did you eat tonight?!

HUSBAND: Oh, about 200 . . .

WIFE: How many have you eaten since childhood?

HUSBAND: Uh, I don't know. 

WIFE: You could die of a heart attack at any time! You could die tonight while we're making high-aerobic love! And I could die from a broken rib, you're so heavy!

HUSBAND: I've gained a lot of weight since high school.

WIFE: I don't think a heart attack for you or a punctured lung for me sounds too good, do you? 

HUSBAND: No.

WIFE: I think our lovemaking has become just too risky, dear. I've been thinking . . .

HUSBAND: You have?

WIFE: Actually, no. I haven't been thinking. I've been talking with my friends. And my friends say that the best thing to do in a high-risk lovemaking situation is to go to the hospital.

HUSBAND: Huh?

WIFE: We're talking about life-threatening love, here, honey! Our home has become too dangerous for us safely to engage in our usual acrobatic sacred union. What better place than the hospital to make worry-free gymnastic love? 

HUSBAND: Uh . . .

WIFE: We'll pack our things, bundle ourselves in the car, and drive to the hospital! It'll be fun, like a camping trip! We'll rent one of those hygienic operating rooms for two or three hours. Professionals will be bustling about on errands of mercy, and you and I will descend into our animal selves. Are we a zebra? Are we a lion? Nurses to take care of our every need! "Have a glass of water" . . . "Have some anesthesia." I think it would be just plain foolish to suffer painful injury just because we didn't bite the financial bullet and hire the necessary technicians to stand guard over our chandelier-swinging copulations.

HUSBAND: Uh . . .

WIFE: And once we feel truly safe – as one always does in the hospital – we can plumb the deep depths of our sexual natures! We can push the envelope of the sexual experience in a way that's impossible for fearful home-bound lovers to do! We can create our own Kama Sutra! We'll call it Calmly Sutured! Wow, I just made that up! I'm a neologist as well as an ideologue! ha ha! I've always loved the feel of starched sheets on my bare bottom! Talk about primal! I'm getting excited just thinking about hospital love!

HUSBAND: Honey?

WIFE: Yes?

HUSBAND: Uh . . . 

WIFE: Could you hurry up? Our sex lives are ticking away!

HUSBAND: The thing is . . . I don't know if I can make love with strangers watching.

WIFE: Strangers!! They're not strangers, dear, they're professionals! Anyway, if you can't get it up, we'll just have you induced.

HUSBAND: Induced?

WIFE: Jody's husband gets shots. But you can have pills. Whatever. Any drug will do to get the "engine" running! Just stick your butt in the air or lie on your back and open your mouth, and five minutes later you're ready to roll! And if the drugs don't work, one of the surgeons can make a little cut in your penis . . . 

HUSBAND: Uh . . .

WIFE: Not a big cut, dear, just a little cut. A little cut to insert a state-of-the-art inflation device. Some quick stitches, pump you up, and you're ready to go! There are all sorts of things doctors can do these days to keep your pathological shyness from ruining our sex lives. It's the technological age! 

HUSBAND: You know, honey, the more I think about it, the more the idea of making love in our own bed sounds pretty good. 

WIFE: But we're high risk, darling! Can't you see? We shouldn't have to miss out on all that safety just because you want to make love in your comfy old bed! Why do you think lovemaking technology exists in the first place? So people can ignore it and have sex at home? We have to take advantage of our high-tech culture's arsenal of drugs, tools, and procedures for the betterment of the health of love! We have to be modern!

HUSBAND: What if I get an infection from that "little cut"?

WIFE: Don't worry about it!

HUSBAND: Oh. Okay. But how risky is my potbelly, really?

WIFE: It's not just your potbelly, dear, it's the whole gamut! Anything can happen! We could fall off the bed and get concussions! We could die! There are all sorts of ways to see home-based love as high risk.

HUSBAND: Okay, well, let's say we did make love in the hospital. Do you think the staff would let us dim the lights?

WIFE: Of course not! How would they know when to intervene if they couldn't see every inch of our flesh at all times? How would they know what tools to ready, what machines to switch on, what lotions to warm, if they couldn't witness every detail of our lovemaking sessions from every angle, acute and obtuse? Call me an exhibitionist, but I think you'll have to agree that it would be downright dangerous not to have the brightest possible fluorescent lights illuminating our deepest crevices and offering for public view our every conjugal entanglement. Do you remember that night when you hit me in the eye with your elbow?

HUSBAND: I regret it to this day.

WIFE: It's just not safe to make the beast with two backs without some serious medical technology around! Even the Bible says sex is dangerous!
HUSBAND: It does?

WIFE: Phyllis said so. Anyway, if we're able to avoid the perils of high-risk lovemaking, we're not just helping ourselves, we're helping others. Think of our children! Where would they be if we got injured or died during one of our nightly cucarachas? Black eyes! Broken ribs! Cardiac arrests! In the hospital, if my heart stops during one of my myriad bone-cracking orgasms, the nurses can just jam one of those big needles into my chest! Don't you see? The hospital institution is our culture's answer to the phenomenal dangers of hot sex! They have ice packs and everything! I can honestly say that I look forward to atrial dysfunction, and its attendant loss of consciousness, so that I can be magically revived by cutting-edge technology!

HUSBAND: Dear, I guess I just have to say that, after much thought, I'm not really ready for hospital lovemaking.

WIFE: Then we're never having sex again.

HUSBAND: I'll pack my jockstrap.

WIFE: The sweaty one from high school? I adore it! I'll pack my cheerleading outfit! Remember that night?

HUSBAND: It burns in my mind.

WIFE: I truly admire your newfound devotion to copulatory technology, honey. You're a man of your age. 

HUSBAND: You're my inspiration, darling.

WIFE: I can't wait to find out what the nurses think of your jockstrap! Now, let's get to the hospital and have some really hot, really safe, sex!
~author unknown