Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Here Lies the Mother with the Cleanest House, Biggest Cloth Stash and Best Organic Meals Ever

I mentioned something at a homebirth meeting the other day about making sure mama is calm and happy instead of fitting into a label. At the meeting, I said that I love the concept of EC (elimination communication) but I've yet to walk out the door with my newborn NOT wearing a disposable diaper.

I catch some poos here and some pees there, but upon having to leave the house, it is one thing I cannot fit onto the big to do list. And so I put on a sposie and watch for cues too late, changing the diaper after the fact.

I encouraged the other mamas at that meeting to relax during the post-partum time, focusing more on making that time a good one as opposed to following very specific practices to fit into labels or keep up images.

And then after reading an article online that says maternal depression seems to worsen infant sleeping habits, I wanted to spill more of my thoughts here:

Please, out of all hard things you do as parents...out of all the things that stress you, out of all the lost sleep, the meal planning, the constant, never ending cleaning, the aches of a sore pelvis, the bruised boobs, the headaches, the bills....don't for a second spend time beating yourself up because you can't maintain a label or fit into a category or do everything perfectly and then post pictures of it to Pinterest. And don't lose sight of what really matters, or strain yourself anymore in an attempt to spin plates to appease those who don't really matter.

Cherish your children. Hold them tight. Keep your home secure and bright. Love your partner and family and friends. Go outside and breathe deeply. Smile at others. Let go and let go and let go of the small things until you feel good, truly good.

If your kids get boxed organic oreos or watch TV or play with a plastic toy...or if you skip the dishes tonight (or eat take out and throw away the disposable utensils)...or if you close the laundry room door for one more day or put a disposable diaper onto your baby or sneak in whatever popular TV show is on right now and munch down non-organic icecream while they are sleeping...everything will be OKAY!

In fact, everything will be BETTER than okay because you will show your children that it's GOOD to be human. That humans are imperfect and humans have limits and humans, yes, even mamas, have needs and feelings. It will be BETTER than okay because they will come to learn the value of people and love above all else. You aren't a failure, you aren't kicked out of the club, you aren't incompetent or making the earth spin off its axis. And tomorrow you'll feel refreshed (somewhat) and can try again.


I'm a mom and I've had enough:

You aren't good enough:

If I knew Dr. Who:

The house can wait: