Friday, May 2, 2014

What Happens in 5 Years?

If someone had asked me where I see myself in 5 years, I could have mentioned a lot of dreams, but all of them would have fallen short of reality. I never would have been able to dream this up in a million years. 

It's funny how you can plot your life out with stern responsibility, deciding what path to take, when and how. You might even acquiesce to a random turn of events or stumble through hard times.

Less tangible and yet all the more real are the thousands of little moments in these past five years that have changed my life in ways not seen to the naked eye. Deep wounds were filled with healing salts and scarred over while silver streaks spread across my body. The connection and experience of birthing was a firework, something that can't be described anymore than trying to explain a new color to another person.

I married my best friend and then spent five years only beginning to understand that I married a stranger, and that this dichotomy is actually the most wonderful thing to find in life and brings about a depth of self and other-exploration worth pursuing for a lifetime.

Along the way, I met some really cool people and also people who refused to turn away from violence and hate. I've made lifetime-friends and yet I might never physically meet some of them. (You know who you are.) I learned not to take family for granted and I learned that family isn't only blood...and that MIL jokes can be very inaccurate.

When I was younger and tried to envision where I would be in 5 years, to me, 5 years was nothing. It seemed fast, a blur, a tiny turn in a lifetime. But these last 5 years have been monumental.

Don't ask me what I think about the next 5 years. I'm learning that life can change quickly and in ways you can't imagine.





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